Products

Easy Einstein Balloons

The source: Walmart, I think?

The promise:

Just connect to hose and fill 100 water balloons freaky fast! Anti-leak seal balloons stay filled longer!

Oh dear.

I had a pack of these in my cupboard because I thought perhaps I could somehow turn them into a model of a cystic kidney for a class presentation (no, really). I decided to forgo the extra effort it would take on my part to actually make these part of the presentation, figuring that my kid loves water balloons so it’s not like they would go to waste.

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The premise is that you attach the bundle of balloons to your hose, the water flows through thin tubes and into the balloons, et voila, a whole bucket of water balloons in a time frame even a toddler can appreciate.

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Yeah, that didn’t happen.

I was dubious as soon as I pulled the “Infinite Love Ring” advertisement out of the packaging (obviously marketing genius at work; if someone is naive enough to buy this as-seen-on-tv nonsense, they might also fork over ten bucks for a symbol of eternal love). Then I read the directions. And re-read them.

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Just release! Okay! (What… does that mean, exactly?)

I screwed the attachment to the hose and turned on the water. At first all seemed to be going according to plan. The balloons gently filled, as did my heart with anticipation at how delighted my daughter would be to see a bucket filled with 100 wobbling balloons. It would only take her about thirty seconds to get through the lot, but it would be a joyous thirty seconds.

Unsure how big these were supposed to be, and concerned they would start exploding, I gently pulled at the end of a balloon. It detached! “Release!” I cried. I began to release the others, and then I noticed…

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Water was still fountaining from the mouth of the balloon. The little orange things were swimming around gently, propelled by the expulsing water, in a growing pool of their own insides. Like so many little goldfish. I grabbed one and tried to stem the flow (tie a knot? Twist the plastic end bit somehow?) but couldn’t figure out how on earth the vaunted “anti-leak seal” was supposed to work. Eventually the whole lot deflated.

Then my friend came over, and her son ran excitedly outside, looking for the water balloons I had (foolishly) promised. I explained the situation and she suggested that we try to see if the balloons would detach on their own when full. But instead the balloons just overfilled and exploded.

All the kids still had a great time watching the balloons explode, so perhaps that’s the most important thing.

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No! No, that’s not the most important thing! I wanted a bucket of 100 balloons to throw at the small children, darn it all.

Tips:

Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. If this is progress, then at what cost?

What did I screw up?

Well, I have to admit I didn’t follow the directions exactly. I wasn’t wearing eye protection.

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Promise Kept?

Look, I’m not a balloon scientist. Maybe – probably! – I did this wrong. Otherwise, it’s a NO.

Final Thoughts:

Sad trombone.

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Anna

 

Have a suggestion for Anna to try – recipe, craft, or project? Send me a message or leave it in the comments!

 

2 thoughts on “Easy Einstein Balloons

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